just so tired

of feeling like shit. Enough already. Feels like whatever I do, there is always just more and more that I should have done already.

Birds increased by 3 baby swallows, 6 newborn goslings and two mynahs. Didn't kill any today.

Agreed to spend half of tomorrow driving four baby jackals to their new home. And IT boss wants me to check a whole lot of stuff as well.

Pdoc hinted - if saying straight out 'why don't you...' counts as a hint - that he'd like it if I did the hospital bit again. No way. Not at all by choice, and definitely not while duckbuddy is there. Dropping the Manerix, and trying Eldepryl again after a weeks washout. Hey, it worked for 6 weeks in 2005, so might as well. He wants the stash for his Christmas present, says I can keep 25, so I asked which 25, specifically, he would allow me. He thought about it and offered the multi-vitamins. Oh wow. And he wants me to see his rooms-sharing pdoc while he is away, which I'm not particularly keen on - she dislikes me because of birds, and I feel intimidated by her.

Ha bloody ha....I feel intimidated by almost everything, except for the things that just make me feel straight-out useless. I agree to doing things because I can't think fast enough of a reason not to, and then I end up lying and faking so that I can just hide away at home. If I was anyone else in my life, I'd figure I wasn't worth the effort - it surprises me that that doesn't happen more often than it does.