hmmmm.....not so much fun, I don't think

Having realised that one of the 4 meetings I have suddenly been scheduled for coincided with my p-doc appointment, I sent new boss a polite apology saying that I can never make meetings on a Thurs morning due to a "regular class".

Ha f-ing ha. I got two compulsory ones in return, both scheduled for 14h00 - 15h00 in Midrand, one on Weds, and one on Fri. Which means basically, 1 hour in a meeting, 3 hours in traffic, if I'm lucky.

I did mention, when we scheduled last weeks compulsory-for-that-day performance appraisal, that generally I will come to meetings in Midrand - which is about 30 kms away - if they are between the hours of 10 (start) and 14 (end), otherwise traffic is just horrendous. I suspect he is making a subtle point here. I suspect I shall make an even more subtle one back in hours billed. Hey, to me, time spent sitting in traffic when it doesn't have to be done, is worth about 3 or 4 times the actual hours. What new boss or anyone else doesn't quite realise is that I actually couldn't care less if they fire me. I would feel a bit bad for my client, given that no-one else would actually give them as good service as I do without it being noticed in any way except lack of down time.

But it would give me that just one more reason for taking the quick out. And mostly just one more would be enough...

Not quite a reason yet, but heading there, is that my parents are keen that I go do some genteel, residential program. Basically it's a rehab centre. But they cover their bases by saying that "they appreciate that substance abuse is often associated with an underlying psychiatric disorder". Think my parents are probably really pissed off with me after last nights email, where I said no way, in fairly definite terms.
Reasons :
1.P-doc doesn't practice there, and I would have to see some arb dude, who, from his (claimed online) work load, would see me for about 5 mins a week.
2.T-doc wouldn't be allowed there, as they have a bunch of 'specially chosen' psychologists and nurses. They do allow for external 'consultants', but only under exceptional circumstances.
3.They would take one look at my current meds and whip them away. Meds might not be working, but I doubt whether 20mg of Prozac would help much either. P-doc, amongst many of his other skills, is renowned for being really good on psycho-pharmacology. Like knowing how to mix TCAs and MAOIs, generally regarded as a no-go. So 3 weeks there would probably be just about enough to go cold turkey on my psych meds. Of course, they would be congratulating themselves on the 3 weeks of no alcohol, and the compulsory AA,NA and CA meetings (all three, regardless of one's personal drug of choice....). Wow. Should be just about enough to hang myself from one of the trees in the beautiful gardens they pride themselves on.

I am pretty close to giving up and letting p-doc check me into his consulting hospital. It's not a psych hospital. Even the psych ward is pretty useless. But that's where p-doc is, and it's close enough to her home for t-doc to see me most days. And they're what's making me hang on right now.