Sunday, September 30, 2007

long day. long week.

long post and blogger just ate it. Too much work and too much time at home and too many dead babies.

This is coming up to my fourth summer at rehab, the first as an appie. The second I ran the centre for a month. The third I was at home a lot, in hospital for a few weeks, mostly doing baby stuff on my own. And mostly feral pigeons and indian mynahs - the unloved and unwanted of the bird world. The ones most people would kill as soon as look at.

I don't know if I can do another baby season. Even the most expert of us don't run much better than 2/3 of the easiest species, more like 50% on average. I'm not the best, but I'm not bad. And I don't think I can cope with that many little bodies, not after I've loved them and fed them and breathed into them for a week or ten days, however long it takes them to live or die. Five in the last three days, including the biggest heart-stealer of all time, the little White-eye. Lost this one after 8 days. Had a fairly experienced volunteer crying on my shoulder earlier this week, about losing babies. I was trying to say, as well....I can cope with them dying in the first 3 days, and then I give them a piece of my heart. And they take that with them when I lose them....

1 comment:

Aqua said...

Sounds so hard to deal with all you do with your mood and then having to deal with all the sadness of loss while helping at the rehab centre. Is there any other duty you could change to at the rehab centre that might be mostly positive? Like maybe helping release the birds into the wild again? or caring for birds after they have been cared for for a while, when they might have a higher survival rate?

The work you do at the rehab centre sounds so important and rewarding in many ways, but it also sounds so stressful. I feel for you. It sounds so hard to take, even if you were feeling well.