Friday, November 23, 2007

damn it all to hell and back....

....mad mynah buddy phoned last night in a panic; Suzy the smaller of the two mynahs that I homed with her last week was limping and unhappy. I said I'd come see the bird this morning. Before I was even out the bath, she phoned in full-on terror. Suzy was unable to stand, and looked paralysed. I picked her up on the way to tdoc, dropped her at bird-vet and went back to fetch her an hour later. Bird-vet reckoned spinal, but no obvious cause, either injury or infection. Gave antibiotics and cortisone, plus more for tonight, and asked to see her in the morning.

Suzy died just after 4pm this afternoon.

Haven't told mynah buddy yet, just can't work out how to. I am more worried that it is something I did wrong with raising her than anything new mom might have done. But I know it will break her heart. So much so that I have even considered sending another bird back to her in a few days and pretending that it is Suzy. Am taking her body for a post-mortem tomorrow, so guess I will hold off on saying anything until I can hopefully know why.

Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Losing babies within a few days is almost expected even if we still grieve. Losing one after weeks, when it is feeding and charming and flying... it's a lot of why I stopped doing daily shifts and have never started again. Too many little bodies that I'd started loving already. Still happens at home anyway....

So yesterday pdoc tells me to listen to Jeff Buckley singing 'Hallelujah', which I did last night, and have played many more times since. Looked up Buckley, who I'd never heard of before. Okaaaay. Apart from singing beautifully, he's dead. Told his girlfriend that he thought he was Bipolar. Then drowned 'accidentally' the next night, while swimming in a river fully-clothed and singing along to Led Zep on the radio - the estate says there was nothing mysterious about his death. Umm...going for a night swim with your steel-toed boots on??

Not sure if pdoc knew the BP and dead bits before mentioning Buckley to me. We did have a bet on something last year based on me guessing a particular singer who had killed himself, who pdoc really rated. I came up with a shortlist of about 30 possibles including the answer: Ian Curtis of Joy Division. I figure he might have known, but the song is so awesome anyway.

Add one more to the list of bipolar, talented....and dead.

No comments: