Tuesday, July 1, 2008

calmer waters

horrendous weekend. Not only the whole dude crisis, but just about everything else. Including Fridays arrival of an extra ten starving little pigeon bodies, so all my normal crisis coping mechanisms had to be avoided in order to get feeding done at about the right times.

Didn't really matter, because between Friday afternoon and late Monday, I couldn't have made myself sleep for more than 4 hours even with the liberal application of a ten pound hammer to my head, the thought of food or drink just made me race for the toilet to puke, and there was no ways that I could lie in the bath either. So about all I did was cry, pace, cry, smoke, cry, shiver with cold. First time this year that I have had to wear layers of clothes and slippers and duvets, and even so I stayed cold for three days.

And then the dude was here, and while it's not exactly a past issue, it's sorted for now. There is a lot I need to think about for myself, but he is still in my life. And the world kind of resolved again. I eventually ate of Monday evening, slept, went back to shorts and tees....

Oh, and didn't get fired from 2nd job, although I was really hoping I would be. Instead, I reduced my rate, agreed to more hours on site, and finished fixing the code I was working on. And realised too, that the last three months of good mood are far more a result of the dude than the meds. Bummer.

A whole lot of issues to think about, and decide on....but for now I feel kind of like one of those '50s girl bands, all pink and bubble-gum and doo-wop while they sing about the boyfriend is back and the universe is good again. Eeeww! that is just so not me! Or maybe it is??

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