Thursday, February 19, 2009

long weeks

OK, so in explanation of the previous post, the main reason for the exceedingly miserable weekend was that the dude was seriously ill. He'd been complaining for ages about feeling nauseous and no appetite etc, so on the Tues I pushed him to see a doctor. Which for dude-types is anathema; they really don't like admitting to illness. He spoke to the doc he works for the next day, doc took blood for tests, test results were scary enough that doc arranged for him to see a specialist the next day. Specialist was alarmed enough to admit him to hospital on Friday, and do some laser surgery on strange bits of stomach and colon.

Needless, to say, we didn't get to see each other, never mind celebrate on Friday or over the weekend. What made me even more mis was that he sent a couple of text messages, none of which included any reference to either 'anniversary' or 'valentine', even when reminded. Sometimes he takes the non-soppiness too far...

Worst bit, I guess, is being reminded that as well as missing out on so many of the special days, when there is a problem, I have to sit at home and wait - I can't be with him, I can't call, I can't do anything. That is worse than being alone on New Years Eve. And that, I think might be the catalyst for me ending this again and more definitely - it's what I've been thinking about all week.


Aqua said...

Hi Jcat,
It must be hard to be the person waiting all the time. It also sounds like the Dude's medical scare was pretty damn scary for both of you. I bet it was so scary for him that it messed with his ability to remember things like valentines day;(though of course, like admitting they need to see the doctor, most men abhour admitting they might be frightened by anything). Why is that?

You know how when you are frightened everything else disappears from your mind. I bet the fear completely blocked that it was valentines day. From his other actions it appears he has a strong connection to you. I hope you get to be with him soon.

Aqua said...

Hey Jcat,
How are you? Thinking of you.
(funny the word Verif. word is "oughl"...I miss "oogling" your posts!!:>)