Friday, January 12, 2007

eeek a gap!!!

...which reminds me of the best ever band-name. Used to have a fun competition going with a friend of mine (way way way back in the days before instant research via the net we had to actually WORK to find new names..). For quite a few months, there was a clearcut winner, with a band called Eeek!AMouse! or something close to that. Hey, thats about 20 years ago now, can't remember the exact punctuation for a band whose music I could never ever find. I did try though, had an order in at every good music shop in town....

So, three days blog-free. No good reason, other than just being a boring stupid and useless git. Doing the same as always. Catching/fetching/delivering little birds and animals. In between psych appointments. For the last 13 months my entire life has been defined by seeing p-doc, seeing t-doc, taking a med-driven timeout. And in between, I do the animal bits. Oh, and the paying IT bits as well.

Actually, not always in between. In Feb last year I'd been hitting the wall for a while. P-doc's first question was always 'did you bring your pyjamas?'. As in, was I going to call it enough and camp out in hospital for a bit? So I finally said yes, farmed out all my birds, arranged good care for the cats and dogs, and checked in.

Of course, given that 99% of JHB didn't know this, I kept getting calls about birds. Most of them I could redirect, but about 10 days in, I got a call for a baby mynah that I just couldn't get anyone else to take. So after a few calls, I arranged that someone who could feed it overnight would take it, someone else would collect him in the middle of rush hour traffic, bring him to me, and also pick up all the vital foodstuff on the way. And deliver him to me in the hospital.

Took two days for anyone to realise that a bird was sharing the ward. And then it wasn't because of anything he or I had done. Just some really whackhead psycho bitch who decided she hated me because I love my p-doc. And because he doesn't pander to attention-seeking the way her doc does. As in...ten urgent messages, 'i think i have to cut', 'i really want to cut', 'i cant stop wanting to cut'....every 5 mins, while p-doc facilitates the behaviour by saying 'oh no darling patient, don't do that. go sit with the nurses for a couple of hours, and everytime they try to do their work, just scream about how you need their devoted attention'. I'm sorry, but that was really the way patient, p-doc and nurses reacted.

I know cutting is really gross and stupid behaviour. But if I really end up having to do it, then I think the way my p-doc handles it is the best. He asks, looks at cuts, makes sure they don't need medical attention, teases the shit out of me because (as he puts it), I am really good at it - can carve geometric patterns in my bicep that hurt like hell, bleed like hell,(leave scars sometimes unfortunately), and I keep them neat and clean enough that they don't fester. He handles them exactly the way I'd like - it's not meant as attention-seeking, not meant to hassle people. Just a really ugly and stupid way of venting.

But with sicko Air-head Aur...the fact that my p-doc and I had agreed on a way of coping that (not being a bitch here, but...) made her p-doc's dramatic reaction really stand out as being pure attention-seeking/facilitating....that was first reason she hated me. Second was that I said straight out that p-doc was way sexy, and that in a different time/space I'd be jumping his bones anywhere I could, and this somehow seemed to bring out some serious latent aggression, because she was incredibly proud of being a 27 year old virgin, whose fiancee of nearly two years hadn't even got close to sex. I respected her position - she didn't respect mine.
And Charlie the mynah was the casualty. I only discovered a fortnight later that all the complaints had been hers, and that all except one were outright lies.

But I reckon that never before, never since, has a small bird been a patient in a five star private hospital. Yo Charles!!

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