Thursday, April 12, 2007

reliable thermometers

never mind all the debate on celcius vs fahrenheit, or kelvins and other arcane scientific measures. They should run the world on kittytherms, a consistent, dependable measure of actual temperature as it pertains to life.

I can tell winter is almost here, because I have a kittytherm of 3.5. When Tess finally moves between my calves, it will be winter. I don't need to know the actual number of degrees on any scale - I can tell immediately by how many bodies are under the duvet before me, and how many stay there for the night.

Of course, for extra measurements, there are factoids like how close Toby can put his luxurious whiskers to the heater without setting fire to them (never, touch wood), and whether the relative warmth of a kittytherm is related to the number taking part in the thermopile - I think it must be.

And then of course, with my friend F (don't want to call her the mad cat would be too close to what I worry about for my own future), who has 20 odd cats. Her kittytherm calculation is based around not only heat and the desirability of it, but factors like the relative status of mommy's armpit versus a hip, under duvet versus on top. She said that she had worked out once that it had to be the middle of winter when she was sweating and unable to move because of the optimum arrangement of eleven kitties.

Hmmm, maybe a thermometer that varies depending on how many you have might not be the ideal scientific method.....


Midwife with a Knife said...

Hm... maybe it's more like how many kitties you NEED in bed in order to feel warm and cozy. For example, it's spring here, and it's warming up slowly. So, I still need both cats (one on top of the covers and one underneath) to make my bed warm enough to be cozy in. That's a KittyTherm (or KT) =1.5. When it's really winter, I need both cats under the covers with me (KT=2.0), and sometimes I feel like I'm going to need more cats! (KT=3.0+).

So, then the ability to measure would be determined by the number of kitties actually owned, but the scale would remain objective.

I'm a dork.

jcat said...

Actually, MWWAK...we might have just worked out why they stuck with arbitrary scientific measures.

Not as meaningful, not as pleasant and definitely worth far more in any bed than an electric blanket!

But can you imagine the poor lab assistant stuck with the task of trying to get a KT of 3+ when the said K units just don't feel like lying next to each other right now!

Can just picture cartoon as well :
'George, it's pretty cold tonight....can you take another two cats down from the cupboard?'