Sunday, November 25, 2007

text messages from hell

- first lot from mynah mommy, who has plunged into despair over Suzy. When I woke up this morning, I had decided that telling her that Suzy had died was the right thing. Now I'm not so sure. Suzy had only been with her for 5 days, so a substitution would probably be unnoticable. And it would stop MM from being convinced deep down that if she was a better parent it wouldn't have happened - no matter how many times I tell her that nothing she did could have influenced it, and that Patsy, the other bird is fine and healthy still.

- second was from duckbuddy. Almost exactly three months since I last heard from her. Says she is doing badly and is back in hospital, and that she still feels bad about the things she said. I haven't replied yet - which in itself could be seen as nasty - because I don't know what to say. Hearing from her just ripped the scab straight off of what I'd thought was something in the past. Don't want to go there again. She knows exactly how to hurt me, and uses that knowledge. And I'm just too close to the edge already. At the same time, I wanted to rush to the hospital and see her, and tell her that I care about her and want her to be OK. Guess that just shows how totally dumb I can be sometimes....

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