and think I am likely to shatter my previous record for last-minute present-buying. Just can't face shopping centres or crowds or noise. I know that I don't achieve much most days, but somehow it takes the whole day and by the time I flee for home I am just so tired. All I want to do is get home, feed the birds and animals and collapse at my PC.
Walkies with PT this morning, an extra block both ways, and a couple of minutes less. Even though I keep stopping for a few seconds to let my legs stop quivering. I am so totally unfit. Hard to believe what I used to do - gym five times a week, at least three 5km runs, at least three games of squash.
Then again, I find it hard to believe sometimes that I ever had a life. I know what I used to do, but it seems as if it was a different person. One with some energy and ambition. One who spent time with people. One that didn't think of suicide every day. It all just feels so far away from what I am now.
I miss myself...