too old

in all possible ways. Well, maybe not in terms of maturity. Last night I stayed up till 04h00 working. And drinking vodka to keep me awake. Today I started at 12h30, and am going to sleep shortly. I am wrecked though, I just don't have the stamina for 14 or 15 hour work sessions. Tonight's one is being done sober, as I am giving the abstention bit a chance again.

And sore, too. Part of it is from too many hours at the keyboard, and part is from PT dude working me hard today. He's already promised a tough session again tomorrow, but with a calf massage to finish off with. And I'm such a massage slut that I'll be ripping off my shorts asap.

And miserable. How come being depressed has to be the biggest constant in my days, no matter what I do or don't manage.....