nothing....

nothing much said
nothing happened
just....nothing.

Came over today. Didn't seem much like wanting to train. Didn't want sex. I don't even know why he came here at all. So we sat around a bit, had coffee, downloaded a movie he wanted. And then he left. I managed to not start crying until after that, but I guess I haven't really stopped since. Guess too that I'd kind of forgotten why exactly I've been celibate for so long.

"..Till fortune found a girl who fanned a flame he thought had died
Whose burning beauty cut him like a knife.
She touched him through the senses that his mind could not control.
Then smiling stepped aside and watched him fall.
Betrayed by his own body and the hunger in his soul
Duvalier was a dreamer after all"
(Kris Kristofferson, Duvalier's Dream)