oh dear...

....am starting to reach the very unwelcome conclusion that any mood improvements might well have more to do with the dude than the meds. Basing that on my complete subsidence this morning when he didn't appear as expected. Don't need that, don't want it, don't think I can handle it at all well. This is so not supposed to be happening... he is not even remotely close to any of the things that I am attracted to in a man. Even so, when I do something as innocuous as running my hand over his arm, when I put my face against his neck and just breath in the scent of his skin, when he almost absent-mindedly touches me anywhere while he is concentrating on something and there is a sharp almost painful reaction from every bit of my body from the toes upwards....sheeit. And that's not even going anywhere near how awesome it feels by the time we get to anything close to bed....

On the other hand, I increased the Tofranil on Sat - so maybe it is that instead. God, I hope so...

"You do something to me
something deep inside
I'm hanging on the wire
for a love I'll never find
You do something wonderful
chase it all away
mixing my emotions
throws me back again

Hanging on the wire yeah
said I'm waiting for the change
Dancing through the fire
just to catch a flame
feel real again

Hanging on the wire yeah
said I'm waiting for the change
Oh I'm dancing through the fire
just to catch a flame
to feel real again

You do something to me
somewhere deep inside
Hoping to get close to
a peace I cannot find

Dancing through the fire
just to catch a flame
Just to get close to
just close enough
To tell you that.....

You do something to me - oh, something deep inside"
Paul Weller, 'you do something to me'