wonderful day

Pdoc appointment was awesome again, laughing and joking, although he was giving me a bit of a hard time about the dude. Not needed, because I am very aware of how involved I have become in such a short time, and how much this is going to hurt eventually. And of course, pdoc is now demanding my meds collection, which I had previously promised to surrender if I ever felt good for longer than a week. The concept of suicide is remote at the moment, but not so remote that I can feel confident about not needing the collection. I guess though, that I did promise it, and he has been fairly reasonable about not forcing me to give it up before. So I will have to give him most of it at the next appt, which is in two weeks. First time that we have progressed from weekly sessions since 2005! And first time that the meds have been stable enough for a monthly script with repeats - for now, we've settled at 175mg Tofranil and 20 mg Inderal (should be 30mg but I keep skipping the midday one accidentally). And a sedative only about once every ten days, and even then, it's down from 2 Ambien to 1/4, mostly. This is so cool!