Thursday, November 13, 2008

bad day, sad day

- the dude is stressing about financial problems. It's temporary, because when his current project starts, he will be earning hugely. But meantime he is kind of in the shit. Being the dude though, he doesn't like talking about problems, and takes them entirely on his own shoulders, rather than either passing them on to the responsible party, or sharing them. I will do what I can, but I can't fix everything. I wish I could.

We met today - he asked if we could see a movie for a bit of escapism. He chose 'Body of Lies', which although very graphic, is a really good film. Kind of a different perspective on the whole West/Islam conflict - only downside for me is that I really don't like Di Caprio, never have. But although the dude was there, and let me cuddle up to him in the dark, he might as well have been in Iraq himself already for the distance he imposed. He's talking again about going to Iraq or Afghanistan as a way to sort things out. I cannot handle the thought of him getting killed over this. Seems though like I am the only one who feels that way.

I came home crying, kept crying through bird feeds etc, and then the rehab volunteer who does all the parrotty-things came over with his G/F to fetch Alex. That is the first domestic bird I've been tempted to keep, but at the same time, I know that I don't really have the passion or the time for one. There are too many wild birds that need care, and the dogs and cats as well - it just wouldn't be a good idea. All the same, it was heartbreaking to see him go, because I'd gotten very fond of him in the last week. What helped was seeing how Alex responded to K. He has whistled and made odd noises for me - within two minutes, he was talking to K, doing all sorts of cute things, showing things that he didn't show me in a full week. Good decision, but it feels strange that he isn't hanging off the side of the pigeon cages begging for a bit of baby food......

1 comment:

Aqua said...

I am sending hugs your way. Remember to take care of you through all this, not just the birds, the dogs and cats and little critters and the dude. You need to baby and love and spoil yourself too.