1. Not actually speak to anyone at all except dogs, cats and birds
2. Not get dressed at all (it's still summer here...)
3. Ignore appropriate mealtimes and substances in favour of everything in the fridge that I won't be able to eat or drink tomorrow when I start the whole MAOI diet again, along with the superdrug Nardil. So cheese, bacon and banana toasties with a beer for breakfast (well...it was already 11h00, and I had been up since 07h30 feeding babies!), Swiss chocolate and salami for snacks, and have just OD'd on the cheesiest ricotta & spinach tortellini drenched in cheese-carbonara sauce with extra pecorino grated over it. At least the MAOI diet ends up being healthy because I eat mostly fruit.
4. Decide absolutely and definitely that I will give p-doc the meds collection on Thurs. If I haven't used it by then. Not the first time I have decided that, but somehow I end up changing my mind. I have to give it up though - not because of any admirable reasons, but because I have this vague feeling of it being unethical on my part to misuse stuff I've weaseled away from his scripts.
5. Smoke way too much. Like two packs at least. And given that I am about to start on the brandy, probably be more than that.
6. Worry all day about little mousebird. Analyse every poop for quantity and consistency. Probably drive him to an early death by incessantly checking on him.
7. Rip another few dozen CD's to the PC, so that I can continue my mission of creating good mixes to either listen to in the car or off myself to.
8. Limit thinking of suicide to no more than once every five minutes. Such restraint...
9. Not cut my arm, even though it would feel so, so calming. Consider other parts of my large and visible (given my nekkidness...) anatomy, and discard idea - have tried a few bits now and again and found them lacking - don't ask me to explain that one.
10. Think of ex-boyfriend, whose birthday it would be tomorrow, if he hadn't been murdered. Just another crime statistic for our revered jack-ass Thabo Mbeki to ignore. There was an article yesterday on what the police in SA spend on private security - most of which is allocated to guarding police property. I kid you not. We pay for private security companies to guard police stations. Doesn't seem to stop case reports from growing little feet and walking. Recent figure quoted is about R5000 for a murder docket. Robbery, hijacking, rape are a bit less. R100-million - it is a huge amount...if they spent that money on actually doing something about crime... shit. There was also a report on a survey asking responses to statements like 'I worry about violence and crime'. What a surprise - about 75% across all racial and economic groups answered yes. Ah hell....Les, wish you still had the chance to answer that question. Instead of being shot in your sleep for a few beers and less than R500. And, like most crimes against average citizens, minimal investigation, no arrests, no convictions.
Miss ya, babes.