Saturday, July 14, 2007

Gilbert is still building.... my domestic worker's rooms - basically putting a bath in and making the place look nice. But that entailed knocking down a wall and rebuilding it 3 feet away, and finding all kinds of stray and strange things. So the last 4 Saturdays have mostly been spent either making decisions with him, or going shopping for yet another thing he didn't know he would need. Been an expensive excercise, but it's basically a gift for having worked for me for ten years, first part-time, and then full-time. Next month we'll do some work on her kitchen.

Ended up sending bosslady an email last night about why I had stalked out. No reply, so don't know whether she just hasn't read it yet, or whether she read it and muttered something like oh stuff off asshole. And then IT boss sent a mail saying that he is going to be out of the office regularly while doing some management training for the next 5 months, including Mon and Tue. Still hasn't done any of the things that I need him to do for this upgrade project - like kicking ass with other managers about their lack of co-operation. I gather via the grapevine that his idea of conflict management is avoidance, but we have a project at a standstill that is going to cost the client huge amounts if it isn't done this year, and he's the one who has to sort it out. So while I was on a roll, I replied telling him that it was great that he was doing this course, but my weekly progress report to all and sundry was going to consist of one word - "none". And then let the shit hit the fan from upper management downwards. Fully expect some of it to land on me, but I am so tense at the moment that I figure a fight could even help.

Managed my proper afternoon nap today for the first time this week, but it was kind of ruined by the really awful and vivid dreams. I often dream clearly, but one of the meds seems to be turning the content unpleasant. Worst bit this afternoon was dreaming that I was somewhere unknown, saw a meerkat in this woman's house, in a tiny little cage, and was telling her that it was illegal etc, and that I was going to either take it with me, or call Nature Conservation. So she looks at me, and tells me that I'll be pleased to know then that she is not going to be keeping the two babies that she has, and I see that she has two little ones of about a week in her right hand. And as I see them, she takes their heads in her other hand and just rips them completely off, and shows me the little headless bodies while she laughs. Woke up from that one in tears, only to roll over and sleep some more, with equally vivid but not quite so brutal dreams. Only good thing is that by the time I'm finished with nightmares, the bad things that are likely to happen in real life seem to be almost insignificant.

Db is sending bland and friendly msg's - I replied to Thursday's with one word of my own, when she wanted to know about my appt with p-doc - fine. Didn't reply to yesterday or today's, just can't think of anything nice to say. Mentioned the whole thing to t-doc on Fri, who said that she kind of gets it almost as if when anyone else has a headache, Db has to have a migraine to outdo them. Feels like that to me too sometimes. Or maybe it's just me dragging her down. I don't know anymore. But at the moment it just seems to complicated and painful, so I'm being a chicken and just hiding away.

Paddles is so bouncy today that it's hard to believe he was ever sick - he is becoming such a funny, affectionate boy. My one friend's sister has been out here from Switzerland to visit their elderly mother, and popped in for a drink last night. She was throwing the ball for CJ (in the house....) and accidentally hit Pad on the head. It was so amazing, he actually stood in front of her and barked furiously - just as if he was scolding her! It wasn't a fear bark, or an aggressive one, but just the whole way he stood there showed such confidence that he could express his feelings and not have to worry about being punished for it - lovely. He and CJ both sprint for the kitchen every time I stand up - while Zac lies in the hall and gives this kind of tolerant sigh. Pad needs neutering though, as soon as he weighs enough - there's far too much mock-wrestling and dominance posturing going on, and I wouldn't want to see fights between him and CJ. He'd end up being a flattened pancake!

And now, in spite of it being not that late on a Saturday night.....bedtime with the cats. Sleep well, to you all, and to me.

No comments: