best thing about today...

...was getting the last appt with p-doc before he goes away for 10 days. I needed meds as well, but seeing him also grounds me in some way, stops me from going overboard. Weird appt though, in that he is normally not really into therapy, more of a medical doctor. He asks the standard Q's, as an opener, but after that it's usually 'how's t-doc?', as in 'have you seen her this week?'. Tonight though, he kind of pushed me to tell him what exactly was crap about the week, and when I eventually did, he gave a lot more feedback than he generally does on non-biological stuff. Strange, but I liked it. I admire him so much, that having him tell me what he thinks I should do is kinda nice. Less nice when he crapped on me for drinking too much, but then he did once tell me that no-one should drink more than half a beer every six months - any more than that is too much. And I drink way more, although I figure that a bottle in 5 nights is not only a lot less than I was drinking before him, but also within the range of 'normal'.

The (have to have at least one) funny bit was when he asked what I'd brought him - a prelude to most scripts - and I hauled out the Nardil bottle. He did a kind of double-take at getting anything, says 'whats this', looks at the bottle and says 'Nardil. Oh great, my birthday present', and it's so obvious that he's completely forgotten the whole devious bit from last week, so I reminded him that he'd conned me into giving them to him based on having someone who needed them. 'Oh I do!', he says, and then gets the very confused look, and says 'I know it was someone I saw today....but who?'. I think the rule is that he will remember forever the things I'd rather he forgot, and vice verse.

I guess not killing any of my little birds also ranks up there with good things.

On the downside though, my team leader - and good friend - phoned me at 12h10, to tell me that I was supposed to be at the office for a 12h00 meeting. Subject : my performance appraisal. Bummer! I had totally forgotten...after boss had shifted it twice, so at least I had a bit of a let-out. And he would have had to leave after about 15 mins anyway, for another unplanned meeting in the centre of town - at least 35 mins away. Sometimes it's not so good not having my diary synced to the work server.

And now, given that my 17h30 appt with p-doc only happened about 18h30, and we talked (well, he did, at least. He still gave me a hard time as well about not being talkative. Doesn't believe me that most people think I talk too much. But then, I don't fake it with him, which is kind of normal opmode for me with almost everyone except him and t-doc) a lot, so only left there at almost 19h30......I'm cold and tired, and it's late. Bed seems like a good option. I slept so badly last night, awake at least 5 times that I remember. More that I don't. At the time, I'm awake for long enough to know that I am, but not long enough to get up or smoke. By the morning those mostly blur together. The countable ones are longer and distinct, and normally involve getting up either to drink water (has to be cold, from the tap), pee because of all the water I've drunk, and smoke. And wait for the cats to rearrange themselves on me afterwards....good thing I really love them, damn furballs!