....umm. Nothing. Have pretty much managed to make a stuff-up of everything I have been anywhere near. And a whole bunch more from a distance.
I can't keep on like this, and don't know if I'd want to either. I spend more of my waking time crying than anything else. When I see news about people getting killed accidentally, my first thought is 'lucky bastard', followed by tears because whoever it was probably didn't want to die....
So it's after 02h00 and I'm playing catch-up because the problem I was yelling about before? Turned out not to be access, but a weird one from the other DBA's upgrade stuff - presenting in a way that I should have been experienced enough to see through. Good thing about working late is that it gives me lots of extra time to regret everything else I did wrong for the day, and to develop the knots in my neck a bit more. They are the only things getting developed - PT dude has gone weird too. Haven't seen him since Sat when everything seemed ok - guess not, given the very brief conversation and lack of training since.
Tdoc yesterday suggested a time-out. Can't do it - paying job would not be too accepting of that right in the middle of this project. And it's still baby mynah season. Besides, only option would be pdoc's hospital, and I just don't see the point of that other than to push me over the edge I'm slipping over on my own already. I could be replaced by someone more capable, in just about everything I do - a permanent timeout would be far more manageable than a temporary one....
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1 comment:
Jcat,
What if you had cancer, or heart disease and your Dr. told you you needed a timeout from work to get better?
This is the same thing. There is no reason why your work needs to know WHY you need to take timeout. Your Doctor can just say you need a medical leave...no details of why need to be told. If you are concerned about a pdoc giving the note you can have your family doctor write the note from a recommendation from your pdoc.
Right before I left work my pdoc asked me..."Do you think the X Corporation will fall if you leave?" It was a good question. Businesses manage no matter who leaves, or what happens. And I am not saying you are not a valuable employee. I'm just saying that you need to look after you first and the business later.
What would the business do if you had to leave for cancer treatment? They would manage somehow. Please take care of you.
...aqua
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